Annotated Table of Contents
Foreword by Jon Pressick
Prologue : An experiential comparison between a somewhat lacklustre orgy and the masturbation session that follows the next day. Could it be that an orgy could be considered mere foreplay for an ecstatic solo experience?
Discovering Bate Culture: My self-awakening to the realization that masturbation is not a snack to curb my sexual appetite until “real sex” comes along but a main course in and of itself, even to the exclusion of all other types of sexual outlets. I discover too that I’m far from alone in this realization.
A Short History on Masturbation: A brief look at the history of masturbation, focusing primarily on the last 300 years of societal conflict over the topic of “self abuse”.
How a Bator Bates: What are we men actually doing when we masturbate for hours at a stretch? The answers are as varied as there are masturbators.
Solosexuality: Solosexuality is a new word in the lexicon to describe one who prefers masturbation over other forms of sex. Is solosexuality a variation of one’s sexual identity or an orientation all its own? Does it preclude one from engaging in partnered, penetrative sex?
Bate Brotherhood: A community of men who prefer masturbation over other forms of sex has arisen. The community attempts to be all-inclusive, forming a “bate brotherhood” of sorts, using a vernacular all their own. Indeed, a sexual subculture distinct from others.
Bate Brotherhood Interlude: An experiential chapter revealing the kind of communication had between die-hard masturbators, a communication meant to encourage and prod one another to heights of masturbatory ecstasy. Something unique occurs when a man is not angling to get inside another man’s pants, but rather encouraging that man to get into his own pants.
Sexuality as Casualty of Illness: Sexual ecstasy, through masturbation or otherwise, is not always easy. Sometimes just getting aroused is beset with obstacles. Whether the obstacles are societal, psychological or physiological, embracing one’s sexuality and the experience of it can be full of landmines to be overcome. This chapter details my own battle with a mental illness and its effect on my sexuality.
Self Love Interlude: An experiential look at one man’s attempt to reclaim his sexuality when the world seems to be conspiring against him. Does our sexuality have to be a casualty of the internal and external forces in our lives?
Steve: After years of hook-ups and penetrative-style sex with others, I found myself wading through the world of solosexuality alone…until I met Steve. Steve became my teacher, a man who gave me a framework to understand my newfound sexuality. Beyond that, he gave me validation.
Addiction: How addictive is masturbation and the porn and drinking that can go with it? Is the dog wagging the tail or is the tail wagging the dog? When it seems that hours of masturbation aren’t enough, when is it too much?
Possession Interlude: A experiential look at what it feels like for a man to have a penis and its attendant powers. The power of penis can overwhelm a man. Not a new discovery, but this interlude explores what it feels like.
Religious Ecstasy vs Sexual Ecstasy: What is ecstasy? How do religious ecstasy and sexual ecstasy differ? How might they entwine or be two sides of the same coin? Why is religious ecstasy seemingly more acceptable than sexual ecstasy when discussed (if discussed at all)?
Coming Out as a Sexual Being: Coming out as gay is so common in Western culture that it’s almost passé. Coming out as a sexual being, however, is another matter altogether. How do we come out as a sexual being when we live in a society that uses sex to sell seemingly all our products, but explicitly or implicitly punishes those who live outside the sexual box, or seem “too” sexual?